A Little about Love

"When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?"                                             -Carrie Bradshaw. Sex in the City

Thirteen million people. So many opportunities for interactions, that have not come. But I have to wonder, is the population of a city directly related to the openness of a heart? Can a city make you cold? My daily walk to school is uniform at best. Amidst avoiding the dog poop and dodging crazy taxi drivers, one would hope for courtesy on the street, on the bus,  in the train. That fails to be the case. Aside from the occasional cat call, or honking of a horn, my interactions with the stranger population of the city are limited to elbowing my way onto the busy train in the Colegiales station in the evening, and avoiding eye contact with could-be purse snatchers. Though it is discouraging to think all the people of Buenos Aires have limited themselves  to staring through the passers by, the interactions they have with one another, when a familiar face appears, are almost theatrical. They laugh, they kiss, they banter, regardless of their surroundings. The middle of the sidewalk? The street? A Store Aisle? No problem. They will banter for hours, right where they stand, caring little about the traffic they may stop, or the bus they will miss. The couples here are even more fierce. They snog, they grope they embrace they cuddle. It is like a constant, real-life 'in a relationship' status, they way they cling to one another. It is territorial interaction with the public, and it is not, as one might assume, hindered by age.  As unsettling as it is watching someone old enough to be my grandfather make out with his wife in the subway, it's almost relieving to know that while I may not be the recipient of anonymous gestures of kindness, the vitality and the heart, in whatever form it may come, is very much alive here in Buenos Aires. Love is here, but in obscure places. Expectations will not find it for you. The father taking his daughter for a trike ride, the couple sleeping on the grass in the park, a big voiced man with his arms around the chair of a friend at a café. The people here still live with their hearts as much as ever. It is one of the reasons I fell in love with the Latin America, and it relieves me to know I was not misguided. Maybe the city is big, and in some way it hardens people to those they don't know, but for them it does not seem to limit the connections they have with one another. Their webs are just woven a little bit tighter. For me, it's always been about the people, here, I just have to accept the fact that sometimes that understanding the nature of people is going to be more of an observer sport.

It has been two years today since my web of connections brought me to a wonderful man named Kyle, and after three weeks of watching people I will never know enjoy the city with the company of those they love, I feel it is only fair to allow myself a moment to reflect on all the joy and blessings brought on by having him in my life. Though I would love to spend our anniversary strolling hand in hand down the streets of Buenos Aires like the porteños, I will settle for letting him know that he is loved, appreciated and missed. 

In many ways Carrie was right, learning to be cautious is a part of growing up, but it's allowing yourself to understand when opening the door to someone, while still scary will be truly worth it. I'm lucky enough to have opened the door at the right time, and found a best friend in Kyle. As for Buenos Aires, people open their doors every day, though maybe just a crack. I think this time it is my turn to pay attention, be cautious, and step through the right doors that will build those wonderful connections, I so desire. 

Happy Anniversary, Kyle.

and as always, Besos, 

Hil

Photo Credit here